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'Of course, I understand why people might be scandalised,' she says quietly. I didn't for a second imagine falling in love again - ever. 'At first Jon's friend, Adrian, was just a link to Jon. But when your emotions are so raw, inhibitions fall away. Divorced and with a young son, Michelle was wary of embarking on a new relationship. He would rush to open car doors and insisted on paying when we went out for dates.'But how can you make rules with people's emotions? But, beneath his irreverent sense of humour, Michelle rapidly discovered a gentle, caring nature. 'I'd been divorced for a year and was still very wary of men, but Jon was so sweet-natured that I felt instantly comfortable.' Not surprisingly after a failed marriage, Michelle was happy to take things slowly.Abby, she is not the kind of person who should be left alone.So I tell her now, and I want all my kids and friends to listen: "As soon as you possibly can, after throwing my ashes off the boat into the Pacific, wrap the memories of our life together around you — and begin a new life.If three days, or three months, after I'm gone, you find a man who will love and cherish you for a few years as I have for so many, go for it!You've earned it." — "Mac" in Oregon DEAR MAC: Your sincerity rings true, leaving me uncharacteristically speechless. • DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter is due to have a baby in a short while.Five months later, hospital tests revealed that the tumour was back. He opted to have gruelling bouts of chemotherapy and radiotherapy to prolong his life. Eventually Jon initiated a conversation about the future and, in particular, the chance of Michelle finding love again.'We were lying in bed when he said he wanted me to meet someone else after he was gone,' says Michelle.
Lost in her grief, she found herself drawn to the one man who could comfort her.She wants to have a baby shower and would like to invite her girlfriends with their husbands or boyfriends.I always thought that baby showers were for females only. — Wondering Grandmother DEAR WONDERING: Times have changed. 'He said I deserved to be happy again.' One can only imagine, however, that he was relieved by Michelle's response.'I told him that I couldn't imagine being with anyone else,' she says.
But everything changed when, just a few months into their relationship Jon began complaining of headaches. He must have been petrified by the news, but he didn't break down. Naively, I assumed that the surgeon would remove the tumour and that would be an end of the problem.' Naive or not, Michelle decided to stay with Jon, come what may.